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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30039972">lost it all</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugofchai/pseuds/mugofchai'>mugofchai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sick thoughts [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>? - Freeform, A Christmas Miracle!, Age Difference, Codependency, Dark Thor (Marvel), Forced Pregnancy, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Jealous Thor (Marvel), Loki Needs a Hug, Loki and Thor Are Not Related (Marvel), Loki could love him, Loki is Loki, M/M, Sif and Loki Are Related (Marvel), Somnophilia, Steve Is Observant, Steve is a good guy, The Sequel Nobody Asked For, They're all adults though, Thor is in love, Unrequited Love, boypussy Loki (Marvel), hehehh, how did that happen??, i couldn't decide whether to tag this as angst or not, i notice i'm writing a lot of fucked up things these days :D, it's def hurt/comfort i think, love is an obsession, more plot than smut, or healty, or more accurately, sif is a good sis, sif is loki's older sister, the alternate ending nobody asked for, they were roommates, this is NOT okay, thor needs lessons in consent, thorki roommates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:21:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,753</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30039972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugofchai/pseuds/mugofchai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>what would happen if steve didn't take thor's bait and instead did things his way?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki &amp; Sif (Marvel), Loki/Steve Rogers, Loki/Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>sick thoughts [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lost it all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a reimagined outcome of what would have happened in <i>to lose all my senses</i> if steve would have reacted differently;</p><p>the somnophilia depicted is still not okay. once again, this is pretty dark stuff, and although it might be written in a way that doesn't make it seem dark, the intended purpose is to unsettle. </p><p>obviously, the writer does not condone anything done without all parties consenting.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was just enough light streaming in from the hallway to illuminate Loki’s sleeping form. Thor did not stop thrusting, could not even if he wanted to, into that pliant body, even when Loki started to squirm in his sleep. Instead, he leaned down and smoothed the confused frown with gentle kisses that were a stark contrast to his cock pumping in and out of Loki’s easily yielding body. Sensing his release approach, Thor slammed in hard, burying himself to the hilt just as his pleasure crested. He sighed and stroked Loki’s face, pushing the dark strands away from his face that had been ruffled from Thor’s rough handling. With a low grunt, Thor thrusted a few more times, riding out the last waves of his release, feeling his own cum sloshing about his cock in that tight heat.</p><p>Just the thought of it was enough to have him hardening again, but Loki was sighing and squirming more than usual today, and Thor could not risk him waking up like this, so he restrained himself. It wasn’t easy, but he felt that being patient would pay off, after all, it was him who Loki would return to, and him that Loki trusted. He smiled, thinking about how his roommate always blushed and couldn’t hide his happy smile whenever Thor prepared his favourite meal or took him out to the mall or movies on an impromptu ‘date.’ <em>Just a little while, little one,</em> he thought as he pushed his cum back into Loki’s leaking slit before cleaning him up from the outside so his clothes wouldn’t get sticky.</p>
<hr/><p>It was a few days after that that significant change came into his life with the possibility of his plans taking flight!</p><p>Weeks had passed as Thor had to watch with an aching heart as Loki had gone from reckless party boy to actual dating. His heart was heavy when Loki told him he had said yes to Steve, that he had agreed upon a relationship with this friend from his group. Naturally, that resulted in the end of the regular weekend raves and parties for them both with their group of friends. Instead, Loki now ended up spending a lot of his time in Steve’s dorm room, or out on the city with him. They came over to Thor’s house too, but that was rare.</p><p>It made him jealous, and it made him angry. Thor was torn between just accepting it as Loki’s choice, or giving in and pummeling Steve’s face till it looked like a blowfish.  It was with these depressing thoughts that he came home from work one day, cursing Steve in his head for taking Loki’s waking affections and time, and cursing himself for having an unacknowledged rivalry with a <em>kid</em>.</p><p>In his forlorn thoughts, he almost didn’t see Loki hunched up on the living room couch, on that same spot where he’d sat with Thor and massaged his head as the storm raged outside all those months ago, and where Thor had first sat him down and bandaged his thumb when the boy had hurt himself in his attempt to surprise him with dinner. But Thor did spot his hunched figure, as if some part of him was always subconsciously looking for Loki, was attuned to him, and quickly detracted his steps, thundering his way towards the object of his desires.</p><p>“You’re home early today,” he was immediately in a pleasant mood, just from having Loki around.</p><p>Loki didn’t immediately turn around or give an outward response, but that wasn’t necessary. Thor had already rounded the couch and was seated next to him, his arm thrown around the younger’s slender frame.</p><p>Even though Loki sighed dejectedly, Thor felt a smile tugging at his lips when the other leaned in against him like it was the most natural thing. Thor was drunk on that feeling alone- that he made Loki so relaxed and comfortable that even when something was bothering him, he allowed himself to seek comfort in Thor.</p><p>“C’mon Lo, what’s the matter?” he encouraged when the silence drew on for too long, rubbing soothingly along the length of his arm.</p><p>Instead of replying immediately, he heaved another sigh. “Nothing goes right for me... I’m probably cursed.”</p><p>Thor frowned in concern, but kept his tone jovial and teasing when he responded, “Cursed? <em>You</em>? I thought you were the type to be puttin’ curses on people!”</p><p>He chuckled when Loki smacked his chest in retaliation for that.</p><p>“I’m trynna open up to you here, you oaf!”</p><p>Grinning, he leaned his head against Loki’s, a silent apology. However, seeing Loki more lively instead of dejected paid off. “Y’know I was joking. Now tell me, why does someone as lovely as you fear he’s cursed?”</p><p>He felt Loki stiffen in his hold, but that only lasted a moment before he was pliant and relaxed again. After a moment, he continued, “It’s because... whenever I think I’m happy, or even beginning to feel satisfied, something or another threatens to take it away.”</p><p>The threat of happiness being taken away? That was something Thor could relate to. But he frowned, thinking back to what Loki could fear losing. The last he remembered, Loki was truly excited about...</p><p>“What did Steve say? You want me to have a talk with him?”</p><p>Loki choked, sounding as if his laugh had been shocked out of him.  Thor turned to look at him, feeling Loki fidget under his steely gaze even as a light flush covered his cheeks. At Thor’s raised eyebrow, he cleared his throat, “Uhm... how did you know it was about Steve?”</p><p>The pain and anger burned brighter in his chest at the admission, but Thor tamped them down for the moment. Helping Loki feel better was much more important right now. Besides, if that Steve had done something to hurt Loki, he’d finally have a reason to teach him a lesson. Instead of saying any of that, he kept his gaze fixed on Loki, “What did he do?”</p><p>There must have been something harsh in his voice, because Loki was instantly scrambling to placate him. “Thor, calm down, he didn’t do anything... yet.”</p><p>If anything, that made Thor more unsettled. “What do you mean Loki? Yet? Look, if you’re worried about something, I will give him a talking-to no problem.”</p><p>With another heavy sigh, and his Loki seemed to be doing a lot of those recently, he shook his head. “I-It’s nothing Thor...”</p><p>The next moment, he had turned Loki to face him fully, grip harsh on his arm. He felt a pang of guilt when he saw the green eyes widened, in fear or in pain, he couldn’t tell. With a sigh, he loosened his grip, rubbing apologetically where he’d gripped him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. It’s just I-”</p><p>“It’s just <em>what</em> Thor?” he hissed, green eyes filled with accusation that he couldn’t stand. “You thought you could throw me around or cow me with violence? Because I-I-I wouldn't be able to <em>fight</em> you?”</p><p>He felt a headache building up behind his eyes and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No, Loki, I’d never do that. Especially not to you,” he kept his tone level, voice low.</p><p>Loki scoffed, his face saying what his words didn’t- <em>but you just did anyway</em>.</p><p>“Look, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that at all, and you don’t even have to forgive me... But please, I’m worried about you. Please tell me so I can help you.” Loki was looking ahead now, gaze firmly turned away from him, but Thor could see the tremble of his lips and knew he was listening. “I’d do anything to make sure you’re happy.”</p><p>Biting his lip so hard that Thor was worried it might bleed, Loki slowly turned to face him again. “I know Thor... It’s just that seeing you like that frightened me.”</p><p>Loki was proud and Thor knew the admission must hurt him. But his heart twisted painfully in his chest at the admission. He’d never wanted to evoke that feeling in Loki. He sniffed, blinking away the sudden moisture in his eyes. “I am sorry. A hundred times, I am sorry. I never want to scare you Loki.”</p><p>His smile was soft and eyes wet with unshed tears as he cupped Thor’s cheeks in both hands, and before he even said anything, Thor knew his apology was accepted. “Oh, you sweet man. I... It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it,” and he wiped Thor’s eyes with gentle pressure.</p><p>He brought Loki’s hands up to kiss them, feeling like the remorse would eat him up from inside.</p><p>Before he could pose his question again, he felt Loki lean into him and breathe out quietly. “It’s... I don’t want you to think any differently of me...”</p><p>Without waiting for a response, Loki continued, “I think I’m pregnant... at least that’s what the three different tests I took say...”</p><p>This was no news to Thor, since he’d kind of been aware even before he had become intimately familiar with Loki’s body. However, he couldn’t really reveal that just yet. “Loki, how can you get pregnant?”</p><p>That earned him an annoyed hiss, as if he was a naughty child who hadn’t been listening. “Why do you think it was so hard for me to tell you Thor? Obviously it’s possible because I’m different!”</p><p>Thor gulped, finding heat coiling in his belly at the smoldering fire behind those eyes. He leaned closer, wanting to show Loki that he didn’t think any differently of him and that his physiology didn’t change anything. “Well, then. What’s wrong if you’re pregnant. Did you not want it?”</p><p>Loki didn’t say anything immediately, but the corners of his mouth turned softer and the intensity behind his eyes lessened. He licked his lips before pressing them together softly. Thor could see the relief slaking his slender form, and the realization sated something in him as well. That his opinion mattered to Loki and that he could help comfort the other like this.</p><p>“I... haven’t told Steve yet... I don’t know how he’ll react.”</p><p>“About the pregnancy?”</p><p>“No, Thor, about the horns I have on my head. Of course, the pregnancy!”</p><p>“...Well I can see it already affecting you so,” he choked out a laugh as Loki smacked him with a cushion.</p><p>“Thor this is serious,” Loki said sternly, but the effect was worn off by his quivering lips as he attempted to keep a straight face.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Thor gripped Loki’s neck and squeezed gently, reassuring. “Listen, you gotta tell him some time. If he takes it badly, then he’s just not worth it. And well, if he’s happy about it and ready to help you do whatever you want, then you know, I’ll admit I was wrong about him.”</p><p>That earned him a narrow-eyed look from Loki, who pinched his cheek. “You didn’t like <em>any</em> of the guys in the group, Thor,” he chided, but he was smiling, so Thor took it.</p><p>They were showered and dressed in pajamas, and Loki was curled up on the couch in front of the large LCD TV, screen paused on the beginning credits as he waited for Thor. When he came with twin plates of white pasta, Loki shuffled over to make space for him and Thor took the snug seat, taking the chance to melt against Loki.</p><p>Loki was halfway done with his plate, and Thor had finished his food long ago, when he spoke poked Thor gently on belly. Thor wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been attuned to Loki instead of paying attention to the film that was on, and hummed in response without looking over at him.</p><p>“Thanks Thor.”</p><p>“For what? I make food for you every day.” He looked over at Loki, his laugh bursting out upon seeing the constipated look on Loki’s face. Before Loki decided to hit him again, he ruffled his damp hair affectionately before pulling him tight against him. “It’s nothing Lo. I wasn’t lying when I said I just want you to be happy.”</p>
<hr/><p>This had to be a mistake.</p><p>Either that, or Thor had royally fucked himself over.</p><p>Loki was ecstatic, had practically been dancing throughout the house.</p><p>Steve had held Loki and told him there was nothing that could come between them. That Loki was perfect the way he was.</p><p>Now, all of that, Thor could agree with. He even begrudgingly found himself liking Steve a little for that act of chivalry towards Loki.</p><p>He’d been broken out of his shocked silence when Loki had hurtled himself at him and wrapped his limps around Thor like a chimpanzee. Thor would have laughed and tried to wiggle him off under different circumstances, but his heart had been sinking and he’d just held Loki against him.</p><p>Now they were having dinner. Not on their usual spot on the couch with some random movie popped in, but on the dinner table. Steve was there. So was Sif.</p><p>Loki was beaming, practically glowing from his seat beside Thor, which he found he was grateful for having not been entirely replaced by the perfect boyfriend. Sif sat opposite him and Steve and to Thor’s side, while Thor sat at the head.</p><p>How had this happened? Thor hadn’t heard much of anything, so he didn’t know what the conversation was all about, but he felt Sif glance at him occasionally, concerned and confused. But of course, her brother came before her friend, so she’d kept her attention mostly on Steve, grilling him as much as she could while Loki was there to defend him and soften her cold exterior.</p><p>That wasn’t needed. Thor could already see, without hearing anything, that she approved of this young man who was taking such good care of her darling brother. Now that the noise was starting to recede somewhat, he caught Loki’s worried glances towards him too, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet his worried gaze.</p><p>Someone must have said something, addressed him, but Thor didn’t hear. Instead, it was Loki’s voice that filtered through his foggy mind, making an excuse for him. In his house. Like he belonged there. Which he did. <em>Thor’s not feeling well. He-He had a light fever today but he wouldn’t let me cancel since it’s so hard for Sif to arrange a day off and travel so far.</em></p><p>His gut clenched at how much that sounded like a spouse. Like someone who really cared for and understood him. Instead, that seemed like something out of his league. Again.</p><p>When he finally remembered to look up, he met Steve’s eyes instead of Loki’s. There was a hardness behind his cool eyes, which Thor met with a challenge of his own, even before the confusion set in.</p><p>And then he realized. Steve knew. He likely knew that Thor was the one behind Loki’s pregnancy, even if Loki himself was unaware. That, or he suspected it.</p><p>As she left, Sif offered to drop Steve off at his dorm, since it was late and she wouldn’t mind doing so. Thor was glad that they’d be alone at the house again, but he still had a sick feeling. If Steve knew what Thor had done, why hadn’t he told Loki? Why hadn’t he told Sif and Loki at dinner tonight? The thought struck him that the boy might be waiting for a chance alone and might speak to Sif about it in the car.</p><p>It was too late by then, and a light touch at the small of his back brought him out of his reverie. He turned around and met Loki’s wide, worried eyes before the younger took him by the hand and led him away from the door and towards the living room.</p><p>He sat back on their couch, pulling Thor down to rest against him as he carded his fingers through his close cropped hair. “What’s wrong Thor? You’re worrying me.”</p><p>Thor shook his head, feeling the heat of Loki’s belly through his hoodie. “’m fine.”</p><p>Loki prodded him a bit more, gentle and with a wobbly voice he had to calm down every now and then, but gave up and let Thor rest eventually.</p><p>Thor fell asleep to slender arms holding him in a warm embrace, and dreamt of a blue wind sweeping emerald green away. <em>I must be cursed, because whenever I’m happy, something or another threatens to take it away.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kindly leave a comment to keep my soul fed :D i like to know what readers think of my writing.<br/>ALSO did anyone feel bad for thor even a little? i am c u r  i o u s</p></blockquote></div></div>
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